"You could at least knock."
"I did knock, Jack."
"Right, okay, so you knocked, but not a real knock."
"It wasn't a *real* knock."
"Funny, I could have sworn my hand really connected with your door, which to my mind constitutes a *real* knock."
"No, a real knock is when there's the likelihood of the knocker not entering if not so invited."
"Why wouldn't I be invited?"
"I could have been doing something important; something private."
"Jack, the door was open."
"So what private thing would you be doing in plain view?"
"I didn't say I *was* doing something private, only that I sometimes might be."
"Is there some point to this conversation?"
"I'm just saying."
"Saying what, exactly?"
"You know, respect."
"Right. It's respectful to wait to be told to enter before you actually enter."
"Well, normally, I would but I was feeling weak from blood loss. I was just shot you know."
"What am I saying? Of course you know; you shot me."
"God, you are *never* going to let me forget that, are you?"
"Not in this lifetime."
"What about Teal'c? He shot you too."
"Teal'c zatted me."
"Yeah, and was preparing to zat you again, so in point of fact, you could say that I saved your life by shooting you."
"You shot me for my own good?"
"Absolutely. What's one little hole in the arm compared to death, huh?"
"Fine. You did me a favour. Thank you so very much for shooting me, I hope I can do the same for you someday. Are we done now?"
"Damn, you were never this snippy with General Hammond."
"Of course not, he was the General."
"And now I'm the General."
"Technically? What Technically? There's no technically. I am totally the General; I have pips to prove it."
"Well sure, but with you it's more General with a small 'g' as opposed to a capital 'G'."
"Only to you. To everyone else, I have a honking big 'G'. Carter stands up when I come into the room."
"And how weird is that?"
"It's not weird. It's respectful."
"Jack, I respect you; I have always respected you. Just because I feel it's my duty to point out your faults and frequently foolish opinions, doesn't mean that I don't respect those opinions and your right to hold them. I even respect you when, like now, you're being a complete ass."
"So if, after all this time, you really need me to knock on doors, call you 'Sir' and 'General' and stand to attention every time you pass just to prove my respect, then fine; no problem."
"If we're talking respect, then I have years of study and multiple PhD's which deserve recognition."
"Fine. *Now* are we done?"
"Well, in that case, General O'Neill, Sir, would you *please*, for God's sake, turn off the damn light and leave me alone. It's past two and we have a briefing first thing in the morning. Sir."
"No, problem, *Doctor* Jackson."
"On a scale of one to ten, how perverse is it that I get turned on when you call me General in bed?"
"Oh God, I am *never* going to get any sleep."
|Genres:||Humor, Missing Scene/Episode-Related|
|Summary:||A little bit of nonsense that came to me while watching Lockdown, inspired mostly by the return of the Jack/ Daniel moments that we all know and love.|