Clarification by Cat
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Category: Jack/Daniel, Sam/Janet
Genres: Established Relationship, Humor
Rated: Mature
Warnings: None
Series: None
Summary: Sometimes you just need a bit of clarification.

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Author's Chapter Notes:
This is Jack/Daniel and Sam/Janet, but nothing overly explicit. Also, this is my attempt at humor, so be forewarned.
"Daniel..."

"But that's not even the half of it! It's... it's like she has to rub my nose in it or something! How mature it that?"

"Daniel..." Jack tried again, but his words were lost in another diatribe. He tried to listen, really he did, but it was all starting to sound the same again.

The younger man began to pace. "So, yeah, technically you could say she's got rights because she was on the team longer, by what, like a day? But I' ve known you longer! I mean, yeah, sure, there was a year off in between while we were literally on different planets, but whatever."

"Daniel..." O'Neill was really starting to regret letting either one of the scientists on his team drink quite as much as they had. On the other hand, they were finally unwinding in a safe, non-public place - his place - where nothing they could do or say could be used against them. If they were ever going to let their hair down, this would be it.

"Why the hell does she have to be so competitive anyway? Should it really matter if she did it? Then again, she described it as 'total and complete' and that 'nothing could match the satisfaction' of doing it..."

"Daniel!" Jack exclaimed in exasperation, grabbing the other man by the shoulders and turning him around to face him. He looked into the depths of those blue eyes, slightly glassy with drink, but lightly shadowed by apparent worry.

"Yes, Jack?" the other man replied, wondering why it felt like the world was still spinning even though he could feel Jack holding him in place.

The older man spoke slowly and clearly, carefully enunciating each word so not to confuse the drunken linguist. "When Sam said she blew O'Neill, she was talking about Thor's ship, not me," he explained.

A light seemed to dawn in those blue eyes. "Really?" Daniel asked, not able to keep the happiness or hopefulness out of his voice.

"Really," Jack confirmed.

"And when she said..."

"She was talking about totally and completely destroying the ship and how satisfying it was to figure out something the Asgard could not," he clarified.

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'," Jack smiled. He started to let the other man go, but saw him lean dangerously to the side at his release and tightened his grip again.

"So I was, er, am the only...?" Daniel asked, leaning into him a bit more.

"In my life, no," O'Neill answered honestly with a shrug. One look at the crestfallen face and he quickly amended, "But I assure you that you are the first, and only, member of my team to, uh, yeah..."

"Blow you?" the civilian helpfully supplied.

"Uh, yeah..."

"Janet!!! You are so going to pay!" Daniel shouted, lunging towards where the two women were leaning together on the couch and dissolving into a fit of giggles. "She's the one who told me what she said, like, five times or something," he said as an aside in explanation.

Jack caught him by the collar, trying desperately not to laugh at the scene before him. "Think about it, Daniel. Do you really want to go head to head with the person in charge of all the needles on the base?"

The younger man seemed to consider it for a moment before conceding, "Good point." He paused for a moment, then lunged again shouting, "Sam!"

Jack caught him by the shirt again, shaking his head. "Daniel, if you don't want to go head to head with the person in charge of the needles, do you really want to piss off her girlfriend?"

Daniel sighed defeatedly. "Then who can I go head to head with?" he pouted.

O'Neill quirked an eyebrow, biting his tongue not to answer that one. Somehow, though, his silence seemed enough for the scholar, who got a gleam in his hazy eyes. Daniel leaned in closer, warm breath smelling distinctly like whisky as he murmured, "Wanna go head to head with me?"

Jack forced himself to swallow down the first reply that popped into his head. He forced himself to take the noble route instead. "Daniel, you're drunk," he sighed. His mind told him to push the other man away, but he found his arms wrapping around the younger man's waist instead. Daniel hummed in appreciation, a very distracting action considering his lips were now up against that little sensitive spot at the base of his throat. Summoning every last drop of will he could muster, he continued, "Sam and Janet are still here and in no condition to drive home tonight, and Teal'c has kel'no'reemed himself into oblivion on the back porch. Do you really think this is the best idea you've ever had?"

Daniel seemed to think about that for a while, before pulling back slightly and smiling. "You're trying to play the 'shy and dutiful archeologist' card again, aren't you?" he slurred.

"If you weren't drunk, would you even think about doing this while everyone else was here?" Jack pointed out.

"I'd think about it," Daniel admitted, much to his lover's surprise. "I think I'd think about it a lot, but I'd probably never actually mention it out loud in the same room with our guests."

"See, that's what I'm talking about," O'Neill sighed, though he couldn't tell if it was in relief or regret.

"But there are several very important points you are forgetting," Daniel pointed out, raising his finger to accentuate the comment and nearly poking his friend's eye out. "I am drunk, they are drunk, they know about us already just like we know about them, and they can sleep it off in your spare room while we sleep it off in your room." He smiled again, very proud of himself for both his cohesive argument and for not falling over yet.

"Daniel..."

"You know I'm right, don't you," he said proudly.

Jack sighed again, knowing he had lost the argument, but not really caring. The only disappointment he found with the whole situation was the fact that there was a very good chance Daniel would pass out the moment his butt hit the mattress.

"Whoo hoo! I won!" the drunken man exclaimed, throwing his arms up into the air and attempting to spin around in his victory. Only Jack's quick reflexes stopped him from face-planting into the coffee table.

"What'd he win?" Sam slurred from her spot on the couch. Her head was propped up by Janet's, with one arm wrapped loosely around the other woman and the other hand gripping another bottle of beer.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Daniel leered haughtily, his hands resting on his hips as he rested against his lover.

"Um, that would be why she asked," the small physician pointed out, raising her own bottle as she made her point. Daniel simply stuck his tongue out at her in reply.

Jack shook his head and gathered up his wayward archeologist. "Last call, girls," he told them; not that there was any more beer left, but it seemed wise to let them know they were cut off. "You two are staying here tonight; spare room's down the hall. Leave the mess, we'll get it in the morning," he advised.

"Aye-aye, sir," both women replied, saluting with their beer bottles before taking another draught. When Janet came up for air, she said, "We'll check on Teal'c before we hit the sack, let him know it's safe to come back in and that we promise not to play 'pin the symbiote on the Jaffa' again."

Jack grinned, remembering the reason their friend hid outside in the first place. "Just try to turn off some of the lights before you go to bed," he said, moving towards the stairs. "And, Sam?" he added, turning around to give her one last look. "No emailing the Pentagon after 0200, Major Davis needs sleep too," he ordered.

"Take away all my fun," she mock pouted, putting down the laptop she had been reaching for.

"Just because some people are too tired to play anymore doesn't mean everyone is," Janet agreed, getting a raised eyebrow for her troubles. "Go to bed. I promise we'll be good," she said, batting her eyes in an attempt to look innocent and failing miserably.

Jack nodded and continued up the stairs, dragging Daniel along with him. "Come on, you heard what she said, doctor's orders and all that," he coaxed. "Let's get some sleep."

The younger man followed, wrapping an arm around his waist and tucking his hand into his lover's pocket as they walked. "She just said to go to bed, she said nothing about sleep," he pointed out. "Besides, I still have something to prove," he added with a sly smile.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Jack asked, wondering if he was going to regret the answer.

"Just that Sam might have blown one O'Neill, but I'm still the best," he grinned.

Jack stopped at the door to the bedroom, taking a moment to process the words. His mouth hung open in disbelief before he caught himself and swallowed heavily.

As Daniel continued towards the bed, he heard, "Experience counts, you know."

Jack closed the door behind him with renewed enthusiasm. So much so that he pointedly ignored the chatter drifting in from the other room as two highly trained and very drunk Air Force officers tried to convince their Jaffa friend that it did not count as breaking the rules if he did it for them. He had no idea what 'it' was, but right now, he didn't care. He had a determined archeologist to deal with, and it would be rude to ignore him. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.

End.
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