3. Those Pesky Kids Give Me No Respect! by Sara
[Reviews - 17] Printer Chapter or Story
Category: General
Genres: Friendship, Holiday, Humor
Rated: All Ages
Warnings: None
Series: Those Pesky Kids!
Summary: Jack POV/Humour. Jokes, tantrums, lectures, boredom and a bit too much to drink! The next day of SG-1's UK adventure continues!

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Story Notes:
Here's part 1 of 4! If you haven't already, you might want to read 'Those Pesky Kids' and 'Those Pesky Kids Again!' first. This story will make far more sense if you do! ;-) Enjoy! x

Feedback would be greatly appreciated! Did it make you giggle? x
“So, what happened next, Daniel?”

Geez, honestly, I get no respect! Carter’s grinning inanely and leaning on the RV’s breakfast table excitedly waiting to hear Daniel’s colourful answer.

“Well, Jack tried to fool Dr Warner into keeping him in the infirmary overnight by getting Teal’c to distract him with talk of an alien incursion. He then failed to get his pathetically well rehearsed ‘I’m really dying’ speech past Janet and then spinelessly capitulated when faced with her seething wrath. He had to admit to her that although he was more than a bit sore from the beating he took on Bedrosia, the real reason he wanted to stay in the infirmary was because he wasn’t okay enough to drive and he didn’t want anyone else driving his truck.”

“Really?! What did Janet say?”

“She smiled evilly and released him on certain conditions; that I drive him home. So, faced with Janet’s insistence that if he stay he would be fitted with a large catheter, he finally had to just give in and let me take him home, which of course meant letting me drive his little baby.”

“Hey, I did not spinelessly capitulate, Daniel, and I’ll have you know my truck is a breakthrough in modern engineering. Not to mention she’s great lookin’, she loves to go fishing at the cabin, purrs when I give her some throttle, handles my rod and tackle like a pro, and she doesn’t like to be touched by anyone but me!”

“We are still talking about your truck aren’t we, Sir?”

Ha ha, Carter!

We all cast a questioning look at Teal’c as he slowly starts to peel his banana with obvious relish, muttering, “One skin.” With a collective shrug, we decide to let it slide. Must be a Jaffa thing.

“Then what happened, Daniel?”

“Well, I hadn’t gone as far as taking off the parking break before Mr. Backseat Driver over here starts dealing out pointers.”

“She has to be handled in a certain way.”

“I understand completely, Sir.”

“You do, Carter?”

Hey, maybe I’ll get some respect after all.

“Yes, Sir. My motorbike is very special to me. He’s big, hard, powerful, exciting, he drives me wild, and he doesn’t have a break down when I tinker with his fuel hose.”

Or… maybe not. You know, that wasn’t bad, she started off with a straight face, but lost it around ‘drives me wild’. Daniel and Carter are now leaning into each other as the giggles rack their clever little scientific bodies.

“Two skin.”

What is up with Teal’c?

“What happened then, Daniel?”

Damn, I thought we’d moved away from this story.

“Yes, right, well, I managed to get Jack and his baby back home in one piece, and I turned into his driveway only to have Jack suddenly screaming at me to stop.”

“Why?”

“Why do you think, Carter? He crashed into a tree!”

“I did not!”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

“You so did.”

“Jack, it was a tiny little twig of a branch and I never even touched it.”

Mmmphh.

“So, anyway, for someone too injured to drive, Jack jumped out and ran round to my side, dragged me bodily out of his truck, pried open my hand and swiftly divested me of the keys, all the while muttering ‘never again’. He then left me sprawled on the drive while he proceeded to caress the damn truck.”

“You knocked Daniel to the ground, Sir?”

“Honestly, Sam, he was stroking it. I thought he was going to start making out with it, and whispering, ‘My precciousssss!”

This is so unfair!

“Three skin.”

“Teal’c, buddy, what the hell are you doing?”

“Removing the skin from this banana, O’Neill. Is that not the correct course of action if I am to eat it?”

“Well, yeah, but what’s with all the counting?”

“It is an important ritual, is it not?”

“What?”

“Major Ferretti kindly informed me that it is an ancient Earth tradition to peel this fruit in four stages, counting each time.”

“Uh… I think he may have been yanking your crank, T.”

“I see. Is that why Major Ferretti and the rest of his team begin to laugh when I reach four skin?”

Oh great. Just swell. Now I’m covered in Daniel’s spit and coffee, Carter’s had to retreat to the back of the RV for fear of laughing up her breakfast, and Teal’c’s nonchalantly munching on his freshly peeled banana.

I think I’ve been had.

See! I get no respect.

****
Chapter End Notes:
On to part 2 - Just click on 'next' below.

Feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thanks! x
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