A Flash of Brilliance by Sideburns
[Reviews - 8] Printer
Category: Jack/Daniel
Genres: First Time, Humor
Rated: Mature
Warnings: None
Series: None
Summary: Daniel's pissed and Jack gets more than he bargained for as a result.

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Author's Chapter Notes:
This came about following a discussion with several wonderful ladies and writers. Somehow the discussion wound its way around to Daniel and -- flashing. Yes, well. 'Nuff said.
A Flash of Brilliance
by sideburns

Daniel was pissed off and anyone who actually knew Daniel, would know that wasn't a good thing and would walk a hundred miles out of their way to avoid him at just such times. People who thought they knew him wouldn't have believed he could be pissed, but then they'd never seen him face down a Goa'uld. No, people who didn't know him would probably use phrases like "mild-mannered", or "absent-minded" to describe Daniel, with "pissed-off" never even making it out of the gate.

But whether one knew him or thought they did, the fact was that mild-mannered, absent-minded Dr. Daniel Jackson was one pissed-off man. He was so pissed off that he was thinking seriously of doing something stupid. Really stupid. Major stupid. Not that he knew what that stupid thing would be -- yet, but damn it, he was pissed.

Daniel walked into the conference room – late – and wasn't one bit surprised to see that Sam had taken his chair, the one to the right of Jack. Teal'c was in his regular seat – the one to Jack's left, which left Daniel no where near Jack and thus --- well, pissed.

More pissed.

Schooling his face and plastering on a smile, he took the chair next to Teal'c.

"Good of you to join us, Doctor," Jack said, the sarcasm fairly dripping from his lips.

Daniel was tempted to shoot back with his own dose of sarcasm, but there were better ways to get under Jack's skin, like, ignoring him, for instance.

"Am I late?" he asked innocently.

"You are precisely one minute late, DanielJackson," Teal'c offered.

"Thanks for the update, Teal'c. I'll kill myself right after the briefing."

"Please don't," Jack said dryly. "You'll just end up naked in my office again and that's one sight I can live without revisiting."

A snort from Sam, who was trying desperately not to laugh, almost unleashed Daniel's anger, but, after years of dealing with false gods and other weird-assed aliens, Sam was a drop in the bucket. On the other hand, what could one snarky retort hurt?

"Don't think I didn't notice the way you fingered that flag pole, Jack. But don't worry, the next time I come back naked, well, let's just say I'll make sure it's in a place where my -- attributes -- will be more openly appreciated."

There, that should do it, Daniel thought. Not that even he understood what he'd said, because he didn't, but it seemed to be working because there was a flush of red creeping up Jack's neck and moving straight to his face. Feeling perversely satisfied, Daniel opened his folder and said, "From what the UAV showed of the ruins on P3Y…."


"Well, that was fun -- not," Daniel said as he turned back to the 'Gate in time to see the iris swirl shut a split second after a blast from a staff weapon hit the wall a mere two inches above his head. A moment later a very angry General O'Neill was striding into the 'Gate room and straight over to Daniel.

Hands held rigidly at his side, face once again red, but this time out of anger, he said, in a deceptively mild tone, "We've suddenly lost the ability to duck, have we, Dr. Jackson?" He looked pointedly at the new hole in the wall -- which was still smoking.

"I ducked enough," Daniel snapped back. "It missed, didn't it?"

Jack stuck his face into Daniel's. "You didn't duck at all, Dr. Jackson."

Daniel really wanted to tell Jack to drop dead, but let's face it, he and Jack did that far too often to actually tempt the fates by daring to suggest it out loud. Instead he simply smiled, turned on his heel, and walked out.

Take that, you jerk, he thought as he strode down the hall.

Damn, he was still pissed. Maybe more so.

This was not healthy. He was too young to go through any more of his life pissed off at Jack because, with his luck, he'd end up dropping dead at forty from a Jack-induced aneurysm -- or something.


Exhausted, Daniel turned off his computer, removed his glasses, rubbed the bridge of his nose and decided to go home. It was after seven – early for him to be leaving – but what the hell. Slipping his glasses back on, he tidied up a bit – meaning that he put his papers into slightly different piles, which made him feel neater – and headed down to the locker room. He changed into his civvies, closed his locker and walked out into the hall – just in time to see Sam and Jack getting into the elevator. Sam was giggling and had her hand on his arm as she leaned in close.

A black haze clouded Daniel's vision and, as she giggled again, the haze turned to red even as he heard a strange thumping sound to his left. This was followed by a concerned, deep voice from behind, asking, "Are you unwell, DanielJackson?"

Daniel shook his head several times and, when his vision finally cleared, realized that Jack and Sam, both having been dressed in their civvies, were now long gone.

"DanielJackson, your hand."

Daniel turned around. "Hi, Teal'c."

"You are injured," he said, indicating Daniel's left hand.

Daniel had to admit that his hand was throbbing and in the kind of way that brought back not-so-nice memories of Reese. He glanced down at it and his eyes widened. "Wow, what happened?"

"You struck the wall."

Daniel looked at the innocent wall – then back at his hand. "I did?"

"You did. I believe we should go to the Infirmary, DanielJackson."

"No, no. I'm fine. Really. Just… bruised."

Teal'c took Daniel's right arm and began to lead him gently toward the elevator. "We are going to the Infirmary."

Daniel sighed heavily. Then he groaned. Damn, his hand really hurt.


"You hit the wall, DanielJackson."

Daniel was staring down at his bandaged – but thank god, not broken – hand and, at Teal'c's words, said, without looking up, "Yes, so you said earlier."

"There was, perhaps, a spider?"

Daniel glanced up sharply. You could never tell with Teal'c when he was making a joke, but suggesting that he'd nearly broken his hand while trying to kill a spider thirty-some-odd floors underground undoubtedly fell into the category of Jaffa sarcasm.

"Very funny, Teal'c."

"I've prescribed a pain medication, low dosage, to get you through the weekend," Dr. Warner said, interrupting the conversation between Daniel and Teal'c. He walked up to the examining bed, pill bottle in hand, and added, "You were lucky this time, no broken bones, but I suspect by tomorrow, you won't be feeling all that fortunate." He indicated the bandaged hand. "That's going to hurt like hell."

"I just love a cheerful doctor, don't you, Teal'c?"

Ignoring the snark, Teal'c asked, "Should he drive, Dr. Warner?"

"As long as he waits until he gets home to take a pill there should be no problem. Besides, even if I suggested otherwise, he wouldn't listen."

Daniel frowned at that even as Teal'c said, "You are well versed in treating DanielJackson."

"Yes, I am, sorry to say."

"Hey, I resemble that remark!"

"I meant that in the most diplomatic way, Dr. Jackson. I would naturally wish that you never needed my help."

Somewhat mollified, Daniel ducked his head. "Oh. Okay, then."

Smiling, Warner patted Daniel's arm. "Go home, take a pill, get some sleep and I'll see you first thing Monday morning to recheck that hand."

Nodding, Daniel said, "Thanks, Doc."

Grinning, Warner walked away as Daniel jumped off the bed and reached for his black leather jacket.

"Allow me to assist you."

"Oh, yeah, thanks."

Together, they got Daniel into the jacket and, as he fumbled in his pocket for his car keys, Teal'c said, "I will escort you to your vehicle."

"Oh, hey, that's not necessary at all, Teal'c. Really."

"I believe it is."

Knowing full well that the man was the proverbial immovable object, Daniel gracefully gave in – if making a face could be considered giving in gracefully.


It was chilly outside, the early spring kind of chill that had Daniel pulling his collar up, albeit awkwardly. He looked up at the night sky and said, "Rain later."

"I believe you are correct."

As they started across the parking lot, Daniel asked, "Do you miss hearing things like the rain at night?"

"I do not. Most of the planets we visit have rain and trees in great numbers, therefore my room within the SGC is often a sanctuary against what you call 'Mother Nature'."

Daniel chuckled. "Somehow, you always manage to make sense, my friend."

"Then perhaps you would be willing to listen to my sense now?"

Daniel stopped. Ignoring the incorrect wording and jumping straight to the intended meaning, he asked suspiciously, "What do you mean?"

"I do not wish to intrude on your private life but… I have found that while you continually surprise us with your ability to evade death—"

"I don't—"

Teal'c held up a hand in warning and Daniel, face scrunched up, clamped his mouth shut.

"That is better. As I was saying, you evade death while at the same time, evading life. I think it is now time to face the one as bravely as you face the other."

Daniel's mouth dropped open.

"I do not presume to know what O'Neill feels, but I am certain that unless he is faced with that which he desires, he will continue to believe he wants something else entirely. And that would be wrong for all my friends."

Daniel snapped his mouth shut again and, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, finally smiled. "I shouldn't be surprised by your clarity of thought. After all, you've got over sixty five years on me, don't you?"


"So you think if Jack is faced with—"

"I do not believe it bears repeating – only doing, DanielJackson."

They had reached Daniel's car and, hand on the door handle, Daniel said, "Teal'c, if you ever decide to run for President, or hell, even king, you've got my vote."

"I believe a vote is not required to be king."

"Good point."

"One need only have the larger army."

"Just remember when you take over Earth that I'm your right-hand man, all right?"

Lips curling upward, Teal'c said, "I would have no other."

"What about Jack?"

"He would be my left-hand man."

"Fair enough. Couldn't have anyone better than Jack beside you – on either side."

"Nor beside you," Teal'c said, his voice oddly soft.

Before Daniel could even think of a response, Teal'c said, "Drive carefully, DanielJackson. I believe you have much to consider this weekend."

There was nothing he could say to that – it was true, after all, so he turned the key and the engine purred to life. Looking back at Teal'c, Daniel waved his bandaged hand and said, "Thank you, Teal'c – for everything."

"You are most welcome," Teal'c said with a slight bow.

Daniel nodded and headed home.


By Sunday, Daniel's mind was numb thanks to 'thinking' all weekend. He was climbing the walls, thanks to his indecision, and his hand hurt like a son-of-a-gun. He was actually taking the pain pills Warner had given him. Unfortunately, under their influence, he had the ridiculous propensity to plot out all sorts of idiotic ways to get Jack to "face that which he desires." Oddly enough, every single idiotic plot involved nudity on his part.

He didn't do nudity.

Not that he was a prude; or anything, he'd just never been comfortable in the nude. Well, unless he was taking a shower or making love, but then nudity was kind of – okay, it wasn't mandatory or anything, except when showering, but it certainly helped. Not that he'd been doing a great deal of lovemaking lately – or in the last three – four – or five – years. Besides, when you work it yourself, well, nudity was hardly an issue. But Daniel was tired of 'working it' himself. He wanted Jack to work it for a while. And of course, being the generous man that he was, he'd be more than willing to reciprocate.

Very willing.

He looked out the front window at the rain that was still coming down – had been coming down since Friday night – and could feel the depression of it, the grayness of it – weighing him down.

He needed to do something.

He needed to do something.

Hell, neither he nor Jack were getting any younger and it wasn't as though Sam really loved Jack, she didn't, but he was easy and he was there and he didn't require any thought or action on her part. But that was no way for any of them to live. Especially since Daniel was giving Jack plenty of thought and really wanted to give the man a whole hell of a lot of action. Tons of action. Really.

He tapped the bandage – tap-tap-tap. He should go over to Jack's right now. Yeah. That's what he should do.

Decision made, he turned away from the window. Okay, he needed a coat and his umbrella. He walked to the hall closet but remembered that the umbrella was in the car. Which worked if it rained suddenly while you were in your car, but if you were in the house, it didn't work – so much.

Opening the closet, he reached for the first coat he spotted -- the black trench coat Teal'c had given him as a joke three years ago. He'd been blown out of the water when he'd returned from Oma-ville only to have Teal'c present him with it again. The man had kept it during Daniel's year 'abroad', along with a few other items that had reminded him of Daniel.

Wonders never cease.

Well, it was a trench coat, and rainproof, so it would work. Daniel took it from the hanger, picked up his keys, pocketed them, and was about to leave when it hit him how badly his hand hurt. He didn't want to be in pain when he … confronted … Jack, but at the same time, didn't want to drive under the influence. Okay, if he took one now, it wouldn't really take effect for about twenty minutes – enough time to get to Jack's. Convinced, he walked over to the couch, picked up the bottle, shook out one pill, popped it into his mouth and reached for the bottle of water on the end table. After washing the pill down, he wiped his mouth and headed for the door – and the phone rang.

Thirty minutes later, he finally said goodbye to Nyan, who was working on Sunday and had needed his help on a translation. Feeling a little woozy, he paused to look at the trench coat still draped over his left arm. Why did he have that again? Oh, yeah, rain. Jack's place. Confrontations. Well, he'd better get going while the going was good.

Except… Daniel cocked his head to the right. Then the left.

Trench coat. Giving Jack a message.

A wicked idea began to form.

Showing Jack that which he desired.

Wondering why he hadn't thought of this earlier, he started to pull of his sweat shirt, but bumped his bum hand. Moaning, he thought he'd better take a pain pill – really, he should have taken one before, but then Nyan had called – oh, well, he'd take it now. He downed the pill with some water, ignored the sense of déjà vu, and went back to stripping. When his sweats were lying in a fleece puddle on the floor, he slipped into the trench coat, belted it clumsily, nodded in satisfaction and once again headed for the door.

Damn. Keys. Couldn't go anywhere without them.

He knew he had a brain, but evidently it was on vacation. Daniel just hoped it was having more fun, and was in a warmer climate. He bent down and retrieved the wayward keys from his sweatpants. Feeling much more accomplished now, if a bit cold, he headed out in the rain and Jack's house.


Jack hung up the phone and swore. That had been a close one. What the hell was wrong with Carter lately, anyway? On Friday, he could have sworn she was simpering. And really, until that moment in the elevator, he was pretty damn certain he'd never seen a woman simper. And now that he had, well, suffice to say it was not something he wanted to see again – ever.

Stomach growling, he got up and started for the kitchen and a ham and cheese sandwich when the doorbell rang. Okay, not even Carter could have – unless she'd been on her cell – no, just no. It was probably some harmless salesperson. In the rain, selling umbrellas.

Grinning, he turned around and went for the door. When he opened it, he thought for a moment that he'd gone insane. Because, well, Daniel was standing there in a black trench coat, carrying a black umbrella – and barefoot.

And… his legs appeared bare.

No slacks, no jeans, just… skin.

"Hi, Jack."

Jack blew out some air. Bit his lip. Narrowed his eyes. Then he noticed the bandaged hand.

"Daniel, what happened to your hand?"

The question was probably ridiculous considering Daniel's appearance, but it sounded so damn normal and, at that moment, Jack really felt the need for normal.

"Oh, this? Apparently I hit a wall yesterday."

Jack leaned in toward his visitor and inspected the round blue eyes blinking back at him. He straightened and, with a disgusted shake of his head, asked, "Did Warner take care of it?"

"Yup." Daniel held it out almost proudly. "Did a bang up job too."

"Gave you some Vicodin, did he?"

"Don't know. They're pink, small. Round."

"Take any recently?"

"Well, sure. But I'm fine. I took it just before coming here so it won't hit me for a while yet." Daniel frowned a bit and added, "Although, maybe I took… nah, just one. I'm sure of it."

"Daniel," Jack said as if his friend were about five. "You know how Vicodin affects you."

"Oh, no, really, I'm fine. I just came over to show you that which you desire, that's all."

Now it was Jack's turn to frown. "You came over to show me… what?"

Daniel grinned lopsidedly. "To show you that which you desire." He held out the umbrella, which left him vulnerable to the rain.

"Daniel, I have an umbrella, but thanks."

"No, no, hold it for me, would you? I need my good hand."

"You're barefoot, it's cold, and I want—"

"Just take it, this will only take a moment and then I'm outta here."

He urged the umbrella forward and Jack had no choice but to take it. He held it over Daniel as he said, "Come on, let's get you inside where it's dry and warm."

"Wait, wait, first I have to show you—"

"Yeah, yeah, that which I desire. I heard you both the first and second time."

"Okay, so here it goes." With some difficulty, Daniel got the belt undone and, holding the edges together, asked, "Are you ready?"

Feeling a sense of dread wash over him, Jack opened his mouth to say no, but then Daniel was opening the coat….


The first thing Daniel was aware of, was that it was damn cold. Which meant – shrinkage.

Okay, this was not good. How could Jack be dazzled by shrinkage and blue balls? As in literally blue balls? But even as he thought it, he was opening the coat.

"Jesus, Daniel."

He really hoped that was Jack being impressed as opposed to horrified.

"Daniel, are you flashing me?"

"Coat's still open," he said, feeling suddenly very foolish.

Looking worriedly around, Jack quickly stepped out, pulled the coat closed and, fingers still gripping the coat tightly, he tugged Daniel inside, which wasn't easy, thanks to the umbrella. Somehow he managed though, and even as he was kicking the door shut and holding onto Daniel with one hand, he tried to close the umbrella with the other. As he struggled with it, Daniel asked, "Well? Were you impressed? Do you realize now that this is what you want and not Sam? Do you, Jack? Do you?"

Umbrella finally shut, Jack sighed heavily and began to pull Daniel down the long hall and toward the bathroom. Inside, hand still wrapped around the coat, he reached around the shower curtain, turned on the water and said, "Daniel, you're freezing. Men aren't all that impressive when they're freezing, you know?" Seeing the crestfallen look, he quickly added, "But let me tell you, even when cold, you're a hell of an eyeful, okay?"

The sad look was gone as Daniel grinned stupidly. "That was the nicest thing you've ever said to me. But instead of an eyeful, could you say that I'm a catcher's mitt full?"

"Don’t press your luck." Jack checked the water temperature and, satisfied, gently removed the trench coat. Holding Daniel's left arm, he asked, "You can get it wet, right? Not broken?"

"Not broken. Why?"

Okay, Vicodin tended to put valuable brain cells to sleep for Daniel, followed eventually, by Daniel himself, so Jack figured he had fifteen, twenty minutes tops. Smiling, he answered, "Just asking." He then carefully removed the ace bandage, whistling at the bruised hand that was revealed. "Wow, you've got most of the colors of the rainbow there, buddy."

"Don't be silly. Rainbows are primary colors."

"Right. What was I thinking." He maneuvered Daniel into the shower and under the nice, warm water.

"Hey, this is water," Daniel said, clearly amazed.

"Well, yeah, it's raining. Hello?"

"But it's warm water."

"What can I say? In my neighborhood, we only get the best. Now shut up and enjoy."

Swaying now, Daniel grinned loopily and said, "Okay."

Jack continued to hold Daniel as the warm water did its trick. When Daniel's skin was a healthy pink, Jack turned off the water and wrapped the man in one of his giant towels. After sitting him down on the closed toilet seat, he dried him off, noting that Daniel's head was already bobbing in that little-boy tired way of his. He gently rewrapped his hand, ignoring the jab of memory regarding the last time Daniel's wrist had been injured. After making sure Daniel's short hair was dry enough, he kept the towel around Daniel, got him to his feet and into the bedroom. Once Daniel was seated on the edge of the bed, Jack rummaged in a drawer and pulled out a pair of sweats – Daniel's sweats from years ago – and carefully got him dressed. By now, Daniel was barely awake and it was no trouble getting him under the covers.

After tucking him in, Jack straightened. He stared down at the sleeping man for several seconds before picking up the damp towel and carrying it back to the bathroom. He tossed it into the hamper, wiped up the floor, and finally walked back into the living room.

Outside, the rain fell, providing an odd kind of comfort. Jack sat down in the chair by the window and, watching the water making interesting patterns on the panes of the sliding doors, he tried not to think about Daniel flashing him.

Which was a lot like trying not to think about purple elephants in tutus when you're told not to think of purple elephants in tutus.

And a naked Daniel was a hell of a lot easier to think about than purple elephants.

What on earth had possessed Daniel to pull such a stunt, anyway? Well, other than the Vicodin, of course. Jack had no doubt that Daniel had planned to visit him, but the addition of the painkiller had probably upped the ante. Jack now had a new agenda for work tomorrow: killing Warner.

Shit, everyone knew how Vicodin affected Daniel. Knew how, if taking more than the smallest dose, could become Mr. Loop-the-Loop, grinning stupidly, playing hide-and-seek, and trying to tickle everyone within reach – including generals. Warner had to have been under the influence himself to have given the guy Vicodin.

Smiling, Jack checked his watch and figured he had about two hours before sleeping beauty woke up, got horribly embarrassed and tried to leave. If he timed it right, he could have the table set and platters full of Aromatic Shrimp, Cashew Chicken, egg rolls and ribs from Wu Fan's. Then, after Daniel's stomach was full, they'd have a nice long talk.

Because Daniel had managed to show Jack exactly what he desired more than anything else on Earth. Who'd have thunk it?


Daniel turned over and blinked blearily up at a ceiling that was not his own, and the problem with that was the fact that it wasn't the Infirmary either, which was the only other ceiling he was used to waking up to find overhead. He scrubbed a hand over his face and sat up. This was good. He wasn't naked. In fact, he was in his own sweats – just not a pair he remembered seeing recently. Glasses, he needed his glasses. Nightstand? Yep. He slipped them on and recognized his location.

Jack's bedroom.

"Well, I'll be damned." Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he scratched his thigh and tried to remember the circumstances that had developed to put him in Jack's bed, clothed, but damn it, without Jack.

Unfortunately, the reason came flooding back to him.

In living color.

Dropping back on the bed, he covered his face with his arm. This was bad. Very bad. How the hell--why the hell--had he shown up on Jack's doorstep naked? Okay, he'd been wearing that stupid trench coat, but come on, he'd flashed Jack O'Neill.

He twisted on the bed in order to look out Jack's window. Maybe he could just … kind of… sneak out?


Car keys. In. The. Trench. Coat.

He'd never live this down. Never. Ever.

Daniel sat up. Time to face the music.

He got up, opened the door and peeked out into the hall. Empty. Quiet.

He walked slowly toward the living room… spotted his keys on the small table by the front door… and nearly jumped for joy.

"Hi, Daniel."

He whipped around to find Jack, a dish cloth in his hand, standing behind him.

"Have a nice nap?"

"Er… sure, guess so."

Jack jerked his head back toward the kitchen and said, "I ordered Chinese, arrived about fifteen minutes ago. Just finished setting the table. You hungry?"

At the words, his stomach growled and he nodded. "Apparently."

"Good. Come on."

Daniel followed him back around the hall and into the kitchen. Jack indicated the fridge and said, "I'd offer you wine, but with the Vicodin still in your system, I think you'd better help yourself to a Coke. I've set up in the dining room." Jack tossed the dish towel on the sink and kept going.

Daniel shrugged, opened the fridge, took out a Coke and followed. Only to receive the shock of his life.

"Uhm, Jack?"


"Candles and good china?"

"Thought it would add a festive touch to the evening. Kind of in line with the whole day, if you know what I mean?"

Daniel figured he'd better sit down – fast. His legs were suddenly wobbling and falling at this point would be a definite mood killer. Besides, he'd probably end up back in the Infirmary. He couldn't even fall harmlessly.

"Got all our favorites," Jack said with an airy wave of his hand. "Of course, it's been awhile since we did this, but I'm betting your tastes haven't changed."

Daniel looked at the platters of food, recognized the Aromatic Shrimp, the Cashew Chicken, ribs and egg rolls. His stomach chose that moment to applaud Jack's choices and Daniel smiled. "Looks great."

"Good. Hand me your plate and I'll serve."

Daniel didn't question, just handed it over. He watched as Jack gave him healthy servings of everything, including two of the three ribs. He started to wave that off, but Jack just wagged a finger at him and mumbled something about how he was a growing … something or other. Daniel took back his plate.

They ate in silence – a remarkably good silence – for twenty minutes, but eventually Daniel had to know if his memory of earlier was real or Memorex. He cleared his throat and dove in. "So… if I remember correctly, I flashed you today."

Jack put his fork down. "Well, to be completely accurate, to flash someone means to give them only a brief glimpse, so no, you didn't 'flash' me. What you did was give me a good long look at a very cold… body."

Daniel groaned. He could feel the heat on his face and was thankful for the candles, which were, hopefully, hiding the fact that he was … oh, god, blushing.

Regrouping, Daniel smiled brightly and said, "It was cold, wasn't it?"

Lips twitching, Jack nodded. "Very. If you catch pneumonia, we'll both pay. Which reminds me. I get the whole trench coat, naked thing, but what was with the barefoot thing? Are you crazy? Were you trying to get pneumonia?"

"That was… an oversight on my part. I evidently took… well, first one pain pill, and then, later, before leaving, I kind of lost track of the fact that I'd already taken one, and must have taken another. So out I walked – barefoot. I guess it's a good thing that it's not winter, huh?"

"I'll say."

Daniel tore a piece of meat off the rib on his plate as he asked thoughtfully, "So my showing up on your doorstep – naked – wasn't all that upsetting, then?"

"Not really. Other than worrying about—"

"Pneumonia. Yeah, I get that. Do I remember a hot shower?"

"You do."


"My pleasure. And I mean that sincerely. Things look better in warm water, if you know what I mean."

Daniel ducked his head. "Yeah, yeah, well, anyway… does this mean you'll stop flirting with Sam now?"

"Hey, I don't flirt—"

"You do."



"But I won't. Anymore."

"Good. You're going to have to talk to her. You know that, right?"

"Aw, Daniel—"

"Jack? We can't start … doing things … if you don't tell her that it's over between the two of you."

Jack looked stricken. "Over? Daniel, there's nothing between us. We've never even—"

"You two have been flirting and carrying on since the year 2000. Not that I noticed – or anything."

"No, obviously not. But I swear to you… Carter and I have never done anything more than—"

"Flirt. Outrageously. Okay, she flirted but you lapped it up, when you weren't going all stone-faced and all."

"Mostly stone-faced. I do that pretty damn well."

Daniel smiled. "Yes, you do."

"Not that it ever worked on you."

Daniel arched an eyebrow. "Never worked on Sam either."

"Yes, well. I'll… talk to her. Have a nice heart-to-heart."

"Make sure there aren't any weapons present. I'd hate to lose you right after I—"

"You have, haven't you?"

Daniel's smile widened. "Yeah, evidently I have. Who knew Teal'c's advice would work so well."

"Wait. Teal'c is the one who told you to show up on my doorstep… naked?"

"No, Teal'c's the one who told me to make sure you saw what you really desired. The Vicodin told me to show up on your doorstep naked."

"I'm beginning to think Doc Warner knew what he was doing after all."

Daniel picked up his Coke. "Here's to Teal'c, Doc Warner and Vicodin."

Jack touched his beer can to Daniel's bottle. "And to trench coats and warm showers."

"Especially warm showers." They sipped their respective drinks and Daniel then asked, "So you looked."

"Both times. But in the shower, I looked a lot. More to look at."


"Not like I haven't seen you before, just not so … just not with the same … you know."


"That works."

"Good thing I'm so well-balanced and all."

This time it was one of Jack's eyebrows that rose. "Why is that?"

"Well, if all the time you were flirting with Sam, you really wanted me…."

"I didn't know I wanted you, Daniel. I knew I wanted something just not … exactly… you know, what."

"So you flirted with Sam. Your subordinate."

"That's not fair."

"Yes, it is. Fair and accurate."

"I flirted with you too, Daniel."

"You… you… you never… not once—"

"Space monkey? Glasses in the elevator? For crying out loud, Daniel, do I need to draw a picture?"

"Why you're nothing but a slut – and Air Force--"

"Now, now. No need for insults. True though they might be."

"I'm in love with a slut."

"Ah, but a one-man slut."

"Well, ye-ah. Now."

Jack's grin softened. "Yeah. Now. I can stop flirting with Davis, thank God."

"Oh, don't think I haven't noticed that too. But he only has eyes for me so you could flirt all you wanted and—"

"You'd better not give him any reason to keep flirting now, Daniel."

"Hey, I can't help what he—"

"You can have the same talk with him that you want me to have with Carter."

"Don't be ridiculous. I haven't flirted back."

"Oh, please. You think I missed the way you batted—"

"I do not bat—"

"You do. And the way you lick your lips when he's around?"

"You idiot, that was for you."


"Yeah. Oh."


"Are you done eating?"

Jack looked at what was left of their dinner and nodded. "Stuffed, why?"

"I was thinking it was time you did a little flashing for me," Daniel said.

Jack pushed away from the table and got to his feet. "So? What are you waiting for? Let's go."

With that, he headed for the bedroom. As he disappeared around the corner, Daniel gave a small shake of his head. Living with Jack was going to be something else. And eventually, he'd know what that "else" was.

"Daniel? Get your ass in here."

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

As he walked down the hall, Jack poked his head out the bedroom door. "How did you really hurt your hand, anyway?"

"Oh, that – and you'd better be naked – I saw you flirting with Sam and hit the wall with my fist."

A very naked Jack stepped out into the hall. "You're joking, right?"

Daniel shook his head.

"Well, I'll be damned."

Daniel glanced down and smiled. "Want me to turn up the heat, Jack?"

"Smart ass."

Jack turned around, flashed his ass, gave Daniel a little wiggle and walked back into the bedroom. Sighing happily, Daniel followed. After all, Jack was a general now so protecting his six was Daniel's job.

God, he loved his job.

The end.
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