A Comedy of Interruptions by Sunraven
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Category: Jack/Daniel
Genres: Challenge, Established Relationship, Humor
Rated: Pre-Teen
Warnings: None
Series: None
Summary: The challenge was to write about a picnic but without sex. Didn't say anything about attempting sex.

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"This was actually a good idea, Daniel."

He looked over his wine glass at me, the blue eyes narrowing a bit, which always meant Danny was thinking.

A Dangerous Thing, is my Danny thinking. That's why I liked to keep him distracted with jokes and sex most of our free time. Try to keep him from using that brilliant mind to get us in trouble.

After my lover swallowed the wine, he said, "You say that like you're surprised, like I never have any good ideas, Jack."

I leaned over and kissed those wine-stained and wine-fruity lips briefly. "Didn't mean that, just that this one is really a good idea."

Once I had my taste of him, I lay back on the blanket we brought to keep the damned ants off our bodies and our food. The sky was a bright blue like Danny's eyes, not a cloud in the sky. We'd gone to Boston Market, a favorite of both of ours, and got enough food to feed SG-1 for a week. Well, a man gets hungry when he has hot sex out in the hot sun, which was what I hoped would happen. Then we drove until we came to the most secluded place we could find in the Rockies near our home.

"You want some more chicken?"

"I want a brownie."

"Dannie, eat your real dinner before you eat dessert. I already told ya that."

His wine-colored bottom lip quivered as it moved out into THE POUT. Needless to say, THE POUT in wine technicolor shot straight to my dick like a lightning strike.

"Jack, I am a grown man, and I can eat dessert before finishing my meal if I want to. You're my lover, not my mother, you know."

I got onto my hands and knees, killer eyes focusing in on my target. Ignoring the complaints from the joints, I moved over to those lips for a kiss.

As our lips locked, I reached down and stroked his hard-on. Maybe Daniel was right. Dessert could come any time, and I was about to get me some now!

Ringgggggg! Ringgggggg!

"Fuck!" I rolled onto my back and grabbed my cellphone.

"Yeah?" My 2-I-C's upset voice screeched into my ear.

"What?" I mouthed Carter's name at Daniel, who took advantage of my distraction and went for a brownie.

"No, Carter, I am not going to tell Janet and Teal'c to stop playing with your reactor! They obviously think you need to get away, or they wouldn't be doing it. No, I don't care if the fate of the whole world depends on your analysis of that thing, Carter. Get a life! Bye."

I snapped the thing closed and dropped it among the food debris. "Now, where was I?" I eyed my archeologist fondly. He now had brownie junk smudging the corner of his lips. Yum. I just love it when he eats messily, so I can clean him up.

I got back to kissing him, this time a little more comfortably by lying on my side instead of my aging joints in wrists and knees.

As my mouth moved down to Danny's neck, he moaned, which made me even hotter than before.

"SHIT!" A fucking bunny rabbit, not being smart enough to realize we might be dangerous to it's dumb life, hopped on top of me. Probably thought Danny and I were a rock, or something, since only my lips and his neck was moving at all.

After I did an internal check to make sure I really hadn't had a heart attack, I laid back down on the blanket. "Fucking rabbit!"

Daniel turned to look at me, amusement on his face. "You didn't have to throw the thing across the clearing Jack. It didn't mean to interrupt us."

"Lucky I don't have a gun, or it would be nothing but a splatter."

He smiled even wider as he moved over to me this time. "Why Jack, I thought you liked small furry things that crawled all over you."

I love it when Danny's playful enough to talk dirty. I couldn't help grinning back at him.

"As long as the hairy thing's attached to you and is big, not small, I like it. Wanna try again?"

He jumped on me, pinning me with his weight and strength. Danny was feeling alpha! Sweet. I just let him eat my face with those lips, feeling his erection poking at my own recovering interest. Wow, the friction he was pulling was mind blowing! Danny could really do friction good.

The taste of my lover, the pleasure at him having a burst of alpha mood, got the Little Colonel back into action real fast. I pushed my hips up against him, wanting his hands inside my pants, pronto. It was safe, after all. Nobody here but us and the damned bunnies and ants.

"Daddy, why is that man rolling all over that other man?"

At the sound of the kid's voice, you've never seen two people move apart faster. By the time the father and son came into view, we were brushing off grass and stuff from our pants to hide any signs of what we were doing.

Daniel, always the quick thinker, cleared his throat and said to me, "There, Jack, I think I got it out of there. Does it still hurt?"

Seeing the out, I got the clue. "Naaahhh, it's a lot better. Thanks, Daniel."

"I'm sorry for my son's curiosity, sirs. He's not used to the woods, and didn't think to let you know he was coming over."

Danny and I made nice, though I knew my face had to have been as red as Danny's lips the whole time. After they left, I turned to my very frustrated and at the same time very amused lover.

"That's it! Let's pack up and get the hell back to the house. This is ridiculous, and that was too close."

As I got in the car my cellphone rang again.

"What is it?"

"Oh, sorry General Hammond. I thought you were Carter, who's got some weird trouble with her naquadah reactor. Like I can really help her, huh? Yes, Sir, I promise my part of the budget will be on your desk by close of business on Monday. I'm almost done with it. Right. Bye, Sir."

"Jack, you know good and well you haven't even started that report."

"That's cause you distracted me, Spacemonkey, every time I started the fucking thing. Home. Now."

"Can I distract you again before you start working on it when we get home?"

"Yeahsureyabetcha, Danny. No, don't you dare grab the last brownie. There were six of the damned things, and I didn't get even one! You're going to get fat if you don't watch out."

Having Daniel grin at me with teeth all brown from scarfing MY brownie should have pissed me off or grossed me out. Instead, the Little Colonel woke up as my archeologist's tongue cleaned his teeth and lips of chocolate. That's it, the cellphone goes in the toilet if it rings again in the next few hours!

I'll finish this damned picnic and make love to Danny, if it kills me.

The End.
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